Friday, January 4, 2008

class, day two

Today in the discussion section of our class we broke up into small groups. In the group that I was in, there were two football players, and three other people. I'll be honest, I don't like most male jocks, mainly football, wrestling and baseball. I don't mind cross country runners of ultimate frisbee folk. Anyways. So there are these two football guys in my discussion section. It bothers me that I feel timid around hyper masculine jocks. I don't like to have discussions, I feel nervous around them. I'm not afraid of them in a corporal sense, but I am afraid of engaging in discussion with them. And that really bothers me.

First issue, I know that I am stereotyping them as insensitive, conservative assholes. I am not giving them a chance to debate what they believe, I just assume they don't value the same things I value. Second issue, I let my notion of these guys determine my actions. I don't debate for what I value as strongly and I use different rhetoric than if I was in different company. I noticed that I wasn't even making eye contact with them.

I need to work on this. I shouldn't feel nervous about talking in front of them, I shouldn't ever feel apologetic for what I value and believe in, and I shouldn't make assumptions based on my first impression of someone.

Anyways. So class went alright. My cluster is having "drunk to dinner" night followed by a circle of death tournament. I am going to need to pace myself. I feel like I will instead go to dinner slightly buzzed, and save the intoxication for later.

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