Any of you familiar with my musical endeavors, or my intentional family from Decorah (aka "the fam") may have heard of or know my dear friend and fellow musician Sumner. Sumner has just started up an awesome new blog about eating and living sustainably and locally.
The first blog post is thought-provokingly excellent. If you're interested in sustainability, local living and activism, it's bound to a be a good read. Even if you're not particularly interested in sustainability, help support queer blogging and check it out. Sumner is a great writer and I promise it'll be an enjoyable experience.
http://aintnoyellowbrickroad.blogspot.com
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Monday, June 15, 2009
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
phone voice
When we were little, my brother and I noted something interesting about our mother. She could be irritated, sad or tired yet without fail when she answered the phone she summoned up this bright, enthusiastic "Hello! This is Sally" followed by an "oh hi!" when the person on the other end identified themselves. We jokingly called it "phone voice" and being the delightful little children we were would mock her for it. Please note the heavy sarcasm. I'm trying to remember to apologize to my parents when I remember some of the things I did as a child that were really extremely obnoxious or rude.
Nonetheless. I work in an office, and many of my friends don't live close enough that I can have long conversations with them in person so I've been talking on the phone more this year. And I realized that I've developed "phone voice." I inadvertently pitch my voice higher, especially when I'm talking to my family, people I don't know very well, or people I haven't talked to in a while. I do a better job staying within my "normal" voice when I'm on the phone with close friends.
There's a couple things that I've been chewing over about this.
1) The fact that I unconsciously pitch my voice higher on the phone sometimes.
2) The fact that I consistently to pitch my voice lower intentionally.
3) The fact that I let it bother me.
Does it really matter what my voice sounds like in the long run? I've done my fair share of transgender navel-gazing. I self-criticize the way I walk, the way I set my shoulders, tuck my butt, minimize hip swaying, try to wear certain types of pants a certain way, layer shirts, choose shirts based on how they fall from the shoulder. I am almost constantly aware of how I hold my hands, cross my legs, tilt my head, suck in the gut. I will stand in front of a mirror and deliberate on different ways of walking to see what hides my hips most. I'll observe my posture, from different angles.
Yes on some level this is what almost all of us do. We all pick out clothes that we feel good in, we observe what we look like. Sometimes I feel like I take it a little overboard and I try to let go.
Back to the "phone voice" then. It bothers me that I do it, because I feel like the phone is one of those places where the only thing people have to go on is my name and my voice. And Dylan isn't really all that feminine of a name, I feel. I know it can be a boy or a girl name but still. Not like Amy. I guess it wouldn't bother me if I didn't pass on the phone in and of itself. I think what is frustrating is that I hear myself modulating higher than I typically talk and I have to sometimes constantly think about my voice.
Anyways. It was just an interesting observation. And won't really be pertinent for long since my estimated start time for hormones is April. In the meantime, if I'm on the phone with you, please don't bring it up. I'm just trying to ignore it.
Nonetheless. I work in an office, and many of my friends don't live close enough that I can have long conversations with them in person so I've been talking on the phone more this year. And I realized that I've developed "phone voice." I inadvertently pitch my voice higher, especially when I'm talking to my family, people I don't know very well, or people I haven't talked to in a while. I do a better job staying within my "normal" voice when I'm on the phone with close friends.
There's a couple things that I've been chewing over about this.
1) The fact that I unconsciously pitch my voice higher on the phone sometimes.
2) The fact that I consistently to pitch my voice lower intentionally.
3) The fact that I let it bother me.
Does it really matter what my voice sounds like in the long run? I've done my fair share of transgender navel-gazing. I self-criticize the way I walk, the way I set my shoulders, tuck my butt, minimize hip swaying, try to wear certain types of pants a certain way, layer shirts, choose shirts based on how they fall from the shoulder. I am almost constantly aware of how I hold my hands, cross my legs, tilt my head, suck in the gut. I will stand in front of a mirror and deliberate on different ways of walking to see what hides my hips most. I'll observe my posture, from different angles.
Yes on some level this is what almost all of us do. We all pick out clothes that we feel good in, we observe what we look like. Sometimes I feel like I take it a little overboard and I try to let go.
Back to the "phone voice" then. It bothers me that I do it, because I feel like the phone is one of those places where the only thing people have to go on is my name and my voice. And Dylan isn't really all that feminine of a name, I feel. I know it can be a boy or a girl name but still. Not like Amy. I guess it wouldn't bother me if I didn't pass on the phone in and of itself. I think what is frustrating is that I hear myself modulating higher than I typically talk and I have to sometimes constantly think about my voice.
Anyways. It was just an interesting observation. And won't really be pertinent for long since my estimated start time for hormones is April. In the meantime, if I'm on the phone with you, please don't bring it up. I'm just trying to ignore it.
Monday, September 22, 2008
long lazy monday
my supervisor isn't a work today, which means i don't have that much to do. currently i'm taking a break from calling all of our RIC congregations and finding out if they have youth groups, who the youth group contact/leader is, and putting that information into an excel file so i have a database of youth contacts and don't need to waste time hunting down the information later.
also this morning, bryan and i were the only people here at 9.. everyone else rolled in around 10:30-11. so that was fun. i would've stayed in bed for another hour or so if i had known.. oh well.
today i've been listening to lots and lots of cloud cult. in particular i've been enjoying "when water comes to life," journey of the featherless," "the ghosts inside our house" and "story of the grandson of jesus"
what else.. one of my friends was in norway and is returning tonight. i'm excited, i hope we get to hang out soon.
yeah. so i'm done procrastinating. i'm gonna go perambulate with bryan for 15 minutes.
also this morning, bryan and i were the only people here at 9.. everyone else rolled in around 10:30-11. so that was fun. i would've stayed in bed for another hour or so if i had known.. oh well.
today i've been listening to lots and lots of cloud cult. in particular i've been enjoying "when water comes to life," journey of the featherless," "the ghosts inside our house" and "story of the grandson of jesus"
what else.. one of my friends was in norway and is returning tonight. i'm excited, i hope we get to hang out soon.
yeah. so i'm done procrastinating. i'm gonna go perambulate with bryan for 15 minutes.
Saturday, July 26, 2008
My Summer of Outings.
Apparently, this is just going to be the summer of outings for me. First I got outed to my summer employer, then to people at Luther, then to my grandmother, and now by my employer to another friend.
I ran into this friend of mine on Thursday night outside of the Haymarket. It's Nordic Fest in Decorah, and he was back in town visiting. It was one of those awkward conversations where he had heard that I was transitioning and brought it up right after he said hi so I didn't even have a chance to tell him myself.
He also used to work for my current employer. He looked after her son when he was younger and he also worked in catering. He had apparently stopped in to see my employer at her job and visit and say hi. All nice, polite, normal things to do, though this visit included her telling my friend that I am transitioning. And really, that part is ok with me. I would've told him if he hadn't heard already, and it's not like I'm deeply in the closet, or in the closet at all about being trans. The part that has me a little upset is what her comments to my friend were.
Apparently her commentary on the situation was something the lines of "so you're rebelling by becoming the status quo?"
That really hurt. It threw me off for the rest of the evening, I ended up leaving and going home after that and thinking about transitioning for a few hours. Hearing comments like that are difficult for me, it makes me doubt myself. It's similar to the argument that I'm less of a feminist for transitioning, that I'm conforming to the system and all that. It's the same message I get from my parents, from some of my friends. That I shouldn't have to transition if I really believe that gender isn't real, that what a "real" queer would do is live without transitioning, or that I'm somehow a better person and a better activist as a female. That I'm selling out. It makes me scared, that maybe I am selling out and being less feminist by transitioning. When did feminism become about policing others choices, bodies, identities?
And now my dilemma is that I don't know how I'm going to feel when I face my employer again on Monday. I know she respects me as a human, but I want her to respect my transition even if she doesn't understand it. On the one hand, I don't want to perpetuate any cycles of gossip so I don't really want to confront her with what my friend told me. One the other hand, if that's how she feels, she could have the decency to tell me, and she could then have the decency to listen to me instead of writing me off. Her kid gets it better than she does. And he's six.
I ran into this friend of mine on Thursday night outside of the Haymarket. It's Nordic Fest in Decorah, and he was back in town visiting. It was one of those awkward conversations where he had heard that I was transitioning and brought it up right after he said hi so I didn't even have a chance to tell him myself.
He also used to work for my current employer. He looked after her son when he was younger and he also worked in catering. He had apparently stopped in to see my employer at her job and visit and say hi. All nice, polite, normal things to do, though this visit included her telling my friend that I am transitioning. And really, that part is ok with me. I would've told him if he hadn't heard already, and it's not like I'm deeply in the closet, or in the closet at all about being trans. The part that has me a little upset is what her comments to my friend were.
Apparently her commentary on the situation was something the lines of "so you're rebelling by becoming the status quo?"
That really hurt. It threw me off for the rest of the evening, I ended up leaving and going home after that and thinking about transitioning for a few hours. Hearing comments like that are difficult for me, it makes me doubt myself. It's similar to the argument that I'm less of a feminist for transitioning, that I'm conforming to the system and all that. It's the same message I get from my parents, from some of my friends. That I shouldn't have to transition if I really believe that gender isn't real, that what a "real" queer would do is live without transitioning, or that I'm somehow a better person and a better activist as a female. That I'm selling out. It makes me scared, that maybe I am selling out and being less feminist by transitioning. When did feminism become about policing others choices, bodies, identities?
And now my dilemma is that I don't know how I'm going to feel when I face my employer again on Monday. I know she respects me as a human, but I want her to respect my transition even if she doesn't understand it. On the one hand, I don't want to perpetuate any cycles of gossip so I don't really want to confront her with what my friend told me. One the other hand, if that's how she feels, she could have the decency to tell me, and she could then have the decency to listen to me instead of writing me off. Her kid gets it better than she does. And he's six.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Summer is busy
It has been a while. Life has just been really busy it seems.
Here's a Quick List of What's Happened Lately
-I've move into my house for the summer, and started taking care of Rex during the days. -Iowa has been flooded, I evacuated my house. Luckily everything was fine in my house.
-Decorah's First Annual Pride Celebration featuring a concert by the amazing Namoli Brennet
-Sumner visiting for a few days. We got a song written, go us
-Butch vegetarian cooking with Sam Kemp, so far we've made eggplant parmesan and curry
-Met my supervisor for next year and the current Lutherans Concerned LVCer, I'll be going out to San Francisco for the annual Lutherans Concerned conference the week of the fourth of July
And I think that pretty much brings me up to date. I'm currently doing summer seminars for the diversity center. So far we've got around a quarter of the kids here. One frustrating thing is one of the other RAs, who has never done summer seminars before, is really getting on my nerves. Last night at dinner he talked about himself the whole time. When we went to movie gallery, he set down his movie gallery card with showing his ID and left the building. We had to go chase him down. He then proceeded to take half of the kids with him in the vehicle he had driven without waiting for us to count them, and sent kids back in vehicles they didn't arrive in. This might not seem like that big of a deal, but when we drive the kids places, they need to return in the vehicle they arrived in. Then we know who is or isn't missing. Then, when he got back, he took off and just left the kids outside Farwell. The other two vans hadn't even gotten back to Farwell yet. He needs to communicate with the rest of the RAs. So far it just feels like he's just another person the rest of the RAs need to keep track of. I'm trying to be patient though. Anyways. I've vented, I feel a little better about it.
Last night I got to go hang out with Drea for a few hours. It was really good to see her and catch up about life. We ended up just sitting in her sister's backyard talking about the Lutheran church, seminary (she wants to be a pastor), what's new in our lives. It made me feel a little nostalgic for the times when my friends were all in town, and we could hang out all together and see each other more than once a year. On the other hand, I am really happy that we've all stayed in touch as well as we have. I guess it's the perils of having friends that graduate before or after you do.
Here's a Quick List of What's Happened Lately
-I've move into my house for the summer, and started taking care of Rex during the days. -Iowa has been flooded, I evacuated my house. Luckily everything was fine in my house.
-Decorah's First Annual Pride Celebration featuring a concert by the amazing Namoli Brennet
-Sumner visiting for a few days. We got a song written, go us
-Butch vegetarian cooking with Sam Kemp, so far we've made eggplant parmesan and curry
-Met my supervisor for next year and the current Lutherans Concerned LVCer, I'll be going out to San Francisco for the annual Lutherans Concerned conference the week of the fourth of July
And I think that pretty much brings me up to date. I'm currently doing summer seminars for the diversity center. So far we've got around a quarter of the kids here. One frustrating thing is one of the other RAs, who has never done summer seminars before, is really getting on my nerves. Last night at dinner he talked about himself the whole time. When we went to movie gallery, he set down his movie gallery card with showing his ID and left the building. We had to go chase him down. He then proceeded to take half of the kids with him in the vehicle he had driven without waiting for us to count them, and sent kids back in vehicles they didn't arrive in. This might not seem like that big of a deal, but when we drive the kids places, they need to return in the vehicle they arrived in. Then we know who is or isn't missing. Then, when he got back, he took off and just left the kids outside Farwell. The other two vans hadn't even gotten back to Farwell yet. He needs to communicate with the rest of the RAs. So far it just feels like he's just another person the rest of the RAs need to keep track of. I'm trying to be patient though. Anyways. I've vented, I feel a little better about it.
Last night I got to go hang out with Drea for a few hours. It was really good to see her and catch up about life. We ended up just sitting in her sister's backyard talking about the Lutheran church, seminary (she wants to be a pastor), what's new in our lives. It made me feel a little nostalgic for the times when my friends were all in town, and we could hang out all together and see each other more than once a year. On the other hand, I am really happy that we've all stayed in touch as well as we have. I guess it's the perils of having friends that graduate before or after you do.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
visiting alyssa
I had an interesting experience today. I ate lunch with Alyssa, a girl who transferred away from Luther. She know attends Concordia University Wisconsin which is strangely enough located in my hometown. She went to Luther for two years before transferring away, for several reasons, one of them being that Luther was too liberal for her. The fact that Luther is RIC disturbs her. Well, actually, she didn't know it was RIC until after she transferred, which is entertaining to me. I mean, Luther has been RIC since the 90s. I think it was possibly the first congregation in Iowa to go RIC.
Nonetheless. I'm not exactly sure where she stands, but I'm fairly certain that on some level, Alyssa thinks that queerness is morally wrong. Mainly because of several comments she's made when we've talked. For example, she was telling me about a debate she had in her political science course. She was debating "homosexual marriage" and her group's opening argument was that while homosexuality is wrong according to the Christian tradition, that that shouldn't mean that "homosexuals" shouldn't have equal rights. (To give you an idea of the kind of university she attends, in these debates people whipped out their bibles. Seriously? A political science debate where bibles are brought up as evidence?) Interacting with her is just strange. She has never said anything directly to me about my queerness, she has several close friends who are gay, yet there was the whole comment about her debate, and the fact that Luther's congregation was too liberal for her.
I think what confuses me is that I can't really place her. I'm not used to people who are morally opposed to queerness interacting with queers without either insulting them or trying to cure them or both. It's refreshing that she believes what she believes without trying to push it on to the queers. In some ways, she's being a lot more tolerant than a lot of queer people. I think that's another reason that I am slightly unsettled by my interactions with her. Many queer people are completely intolerant of people who think that queerness is morally wrong. And for me, this is where it gets complicated. Clearly, I want people to accept me and not think that I am a sick and twisted individual. On the other hand, I also don't want to force people to believe something. Just because I believe that I am "right" in this situation, does that make it appropriate for me to say that others beliefs aren't valid? Really, I just want people to be nice to each other. I am not being extraordinarily coherent, I realize that. If any of you have thoughts on the topic, let me know.
Nonetheless. I'm not exactly sure where she stands, but I'm fairly certain that on some level, Alyssa thinks that queerness is morally wrong. Mainly because of several comments she's made when we've talked. For example, she was telling me about a debate she had in her political science course. She was debating "homosexual marriage" and her group's opening argument was that while homosexuality is wrong according to the Christian tradition, that that shouldn't mean that "homosexuals" shouldn't have equal rights. (To give you an idea of the kind of university she attends, in these debates people whipped out their bibles. Seriously? A political science debate where bibles are brought up as evidence?) Interacting with her is just strange. She has never said anything directly to me about my queerness, she has several close friends who are gay, yet there was the whole comment about her debate, and the fact that Luther's congregation was too liberal for her.
I think what confuses me is that I can't really place her. I'm not used to people who are morally opposed to queerness interacting with queers without either insulting them or trying to cure them or both. It's refreshing that she believes what she believes without trying to push it on to the queers. In some ways, she's being a lot more tolerant than a lot of queer people. I think that's another reason that I am slightly unsettled by my interactions with her. Many queer people are completely intolerant of people who think that queerness is morally wrong. And for me, this is where it gets complicated. Clearly, I want people to accept me and not think that I am a sick and twisted individual. On the other hand, I also don't want to force people to believe something. Just because I believe that I am "right" in this situation, does that make it appropriate for me to say that others beliefs aren't valid? Really, I just want people to be nice to each other. I am not being extraordinarily coherent, I realize that. If any of you have thoughts on the topic, let me know.
Monday, January 28, 2008
i am not completely healthy
The past few days when I wake up I haven't been feeling so great. Feel like my lungs hurt a bit, and I usually have a runny nose. At first, I just assumed my body was saying "fuck you" for smoking more than usual over Jterm. But no. My body was trying to tell me to slow the hell down and sleep. Since I clearly didn't get the message, I woke up today with a full blown chest cold. *sigh* I really just want to crawl back in to bed and sleep until I feel healthy again.
My mother has been giving me alavert, oranges and emergen-c all day, so let's hope it's not possible to overload your system with vitamin C. She's also banished me from the puppy room, so I don't make them sick.
Luckily, since it is Jterm break I don't have much to do. Since I am a brilliant procrastinator, I do have a 5 to 8 page analysis of the Matrix to write and email to my professor by 3:30pm. But I'm not concerned. The only difficult part will be focusing on the structures of power in the film instead of talking about Keanu's horrible acting.
I had an excellent weekend. I got to go visit one of my best friends, Mugsie, in Evanston. It just makes me happy to hang out with her. We saw a play, hung out with her friends, talked, good times all around. I also got to eat lunch with Andy, which was also good.
Anyways, I think I'm going to go take a shower before I finish the paper. Happy Monday to all, or something like that.
My mother has been giving me alavert, oranges and emergen-c all day, so let's hope it's not possible to overload your system with vitamin C. She's also banished me from the puppy room, so I don't make them sick.
Luckily, since it is Jterm break I don't have much to do. Since I am a brilliant procrastinator, I do have a 5 to 8 page analysis of the Matrix to write and email to my professor by 3:30pm. But I'm not concerned. The only difficult part will be focusing on the structures of power in the film instead of talking about Keanu's horrible acting.
I had an excellent weekend. I got to go visit one of my best friends, Mugsie, in Evanston. It just makes me happy to hang out with her. We saw a play, hung out with her friends, talked, good times all around. I also got to eat lunch with Andy, which was also good.
Anyways, I think I'm going to go take a shower before I finish the paper. Happy Monday to all, or something like that.
Sunday, December 30, 2007
apathy and boredom in mequon
The boredom has really only struck today. And it's only apathy in the sense that I reached the point of boredom where I don't really want to do anything. Well, more like nothing sounds interesting even though I am open to the idea of doing something. Instead I've been reading, playing mahjong on the internet and taking care of the poodles. I also did go for a walk which was nice. And it wore out Zeus which is also good. It's not fun to deal with an energetic poodle in show cut.
I'm reading a Tom Robbins novel today, or attempting to. It's called Fierce Invalids Home from Hot Climates and is fairly good. After reading a few Tom Robbins novels I've come to the conclusion that readers either love the books or hate them, and that he probably writes while under the influence of some sort of mind altering substance. In either case, I can really only handle reading him for 20-30 minutes at time, then I need to take a break. Which is actually what I'm doing right now. I've been meaning to blog for the past few days, but just haven't done it so I figure now is as good a time as any.
Anyways. On Wednesday my friend Sumner came up to visit for a few days. We played a lot of guitar, watched a few movies, went to the guitar center and played their guitars, generally had a good time. She actually ended up staying an extra night because we had a ridiculous amount of snow, so that was fun too. We recorded a song as well, but unfortunately my computer is being an angry teenager and corrupted one section of the vocals. *sigh*
Yesterday a friend of mine who graduated from Luther last year was in town for a wedding. Well, the wedding was today, but she got her yesterday and we got to hang out. We drove downtown to Brady Street, which was an adventure in and of itself. We went to my favorite coffee shop/tea house in the world (Rochambo's), ate dinner at the Apollo Cafe, and went on a quest for boots for Katie. She wanted leopard print boots, which we didn't find, but we found her some kickass boots at Mr. Shoe instead. We also went to the Exclusive Company, which is a new and used music and movie store. They have an excellent collection of records, but I don't have a record player. It's still fun to browse. Later on in the evening we went to the midnight showing of the Princess Bride. We went with some of my good friends from high school who I haven't seen in a year or so because of extenuating circumstances. Mainly that Luther has Jterm and many other schools don't.
Today I downloaded the soundtrack to the movie Juno from iTunes. It is quite excellent, so much so that I am going to turn this blog post into a mammoth by including the track list. So, great joy was had while I brushed the dogs, drank my tea, and listened to this soundtrack.
01. "All I Want Is You" Barry Louis Polisar
02. "Rollercoaster" Juno Film Version - Kimya Dawson
03. "A Well Respected Man" The Kinks
04. "Dearest" Buddy Holly
05. "Up The Spout" Mateo Messina
06. "Tire Swing" Kimya Dawson
07. "Piazza, New York Catcher" Belle & Sebastian
08. "Loose Lips" Kimya Dawson
09. "Superstar" Sonic Youth
10. "Sleep" Instrumental - Kimya Dawson
11. "Expectations" Belle & Sebastian
12. "All The Young Dudes" Mott The Hoople
13. "So Nice So Smart" Kimya Dawson
14. "Sea of Love" Cat Power
15. "Tree Hugger" Kimya Dawson and Antsy Pants
16. "I'm Sticking With You" Velvet Underground
17. "Anyone Else but You" The Moldy Peaches
18. "Vampire" Antsy Pants
19. "Anyone Else But You" Ellen Page and Michael Cera
I've been thinking more about tranny gender stuff. I am not nearly as stressed about it as I was when I last posted about such things. I've been realizing that I don't need to get so bent out of shape all the time. Sometimes it's good to be struggling with all of the issues that go into the situation, and sometimes it's even better to just try and live. I mean, at the end of the day I want to be happy with who I am. And most of the time I am happy with who I am as a person, so I shouldn't get so uptight about what body I'm in. Don't get me wrong, as soon as I get the money together the breasts will be gone. I just don't need to get worked up about all of it in the meantime.
I have also been realizing that since I've started down this path of genderqueer tranny-ism I have changed. This is thrown into sharp relief when I come home from college, visit my relatives, even when I hang out with friends who aren't quite up to date on my adventures in the world of gender identity. It's a rather strong metaphor, but it's almost as if I have two personas, Amy and Dylan. I'm not becoming schizophrenic, but it does feel different interacting with people who know me as Dylan or know that I'm changing my name to Dylan and people who only know me as Amy and don't necessarily even know I like primarily like dykes. I'm a lot less angry and frustrated with the world, which is a relief. I've become more calm, more sure of myself as a person. I've also become less cocky, which I think is good. Either way. I'm getting to a good place with myself.
Right now I'm trying to decide what to do with the rest of my evening. I'm thinking a little reading, letting the dogs out one more time, maybe some more tea and a movie. I also would like to point out that I've been writing the post (albeit while taking a bathroom break, playing a few internet games and chatting with folk online) for the past hour and a half. Ridiculous.
Well. I think that's everything for this blog post. I'll leave you with a Tom Robbins quote from Fierce Invalids Home from Hot Climates.
"The Devil doesn't make us do anything. The Devil, for example, doesn't make us mean. Rather, when we're mean, we make the Devil. Literally. Our actions create him. Conversely, when we behave with compassion, generosity and grace, we create God in the world"
I'm reading a Tom Robbins novel today, or attempting to. It's called Fierce Invalids Home from Hot Climates and is fairly good. After reading a few Tom Robbins novels I've come to the conclusion that readers either love the books or hate them, and that he probably writes while under the influence of some sort of mind altering substance. In either case, I can really only handle reading him for 20-30 minutes at time, then I need to take a break. Which is actually what I'm doing right now. I've been meaning to blog for the past few days, but just haven't done it so I figure now is as good a time as any.
Anyways. On Wednesday my friend Sumner came up to visit for a few days. We played a lot of guitar, watched a few movies, went to the guitar center and played their guitars, generally had a good time. She actually ended up staying an extra night because we had a ridiculous amount of snow, so that was fun too. We recorded a song as well, but unfortunately my computer is being an angry teenager and corrupted one section of the vocals. *sigh*
Yesterday a friend of mine who graduated from Luther last year was in town for a wedding. Well, the wedding was today, but she got her yesterday and we got to hang out. We drove downtown to Brady Street, which was an adventure in and of itself. We went to my favorite coffee shop/tea house in the world (Rochambo's), ate dinner at the Apollo Cafe, and went on a quest for boots for Katie. She wanted leopard print boots, which we didn't find, but we found her some kickass boots at Mr. Shoe instead. We also went to the Exclusive Company, which is a new and used music and movie store. They have an excellent collection of records, but I don't have a record player. It's still fun to browse. Later on in the evening we went to the midnight showing of the Princess Bride. We went with some of my good friends from high school who I haven't seen in a year or so because of extenuating circumstances. Mainly that Luther has Jterm and many other schools don't.
Today I downloaded the soundtrack to the movie Juno from iTunes. It is quite excellent, so much so that I am going to turn this blog post into a mammoth by including the track list. So, great joy was had while I brushed the dogs, drank my tea, and listened to this soundtrack.
01. "All I Want Is You" Barry Louis Polisar
02. "Rollercoaster" Juno Film Version - Kimya Dawson
03. "A Well Respected Man" The Kinks
04. "Dearest" Buddy Holly
05. "Up The Spout" Mateo Messina
06. "Tire Swing" Kimya Dawson
07. "Piazza, New York Catcher" Belle & Sebastian
08. "Loose Lips" Kimya Dawson
09. "Superstar" Sonic Youth
10. "Sleep" Instrumental - Kimya Dawson
11. "Expectations" Belle & Sebastian
12. "All The Young Dudes" Mott The Hoople
13. "So Nice So Smart" Kimya Dawson
14. "Sea of Love" Cat Power
15. "Tree Hugger" Kimya Dawson and Antsy Pants
16. "I'm Sticking With You" Velvet Underground
17. "Anyone Else but You" The Moldy Peaches
18. "Vampire" Antsy Pants
19. "Anyone Else But You" Ellen Page and Michael Cera
I've been thinking more about tranny gender stuff. I am not nearly as stressed about it as I was when I last posted about such things. I've been realizing that I don't need to get so bent out of shape all the time. Sometimes it's good to be struggling with all of the issues that go into the situation, and sometimes it's even better to just try and live. I mean, at the end of the day I want to be happy with who I am. And most of the time I am happy with who I am as a person, so I shouldn't get so uptight about what body I'm in. Don't get me wrong, as soon as I get the money together the breasts will be gone. I just don't need to get worked up about all of it in the meantime.
I have also been realizing that since I've started down this path of genderqueer tranny-ism I have changed. This is thrown into sharp relief when I come home from college, visit my relatives, even when I hang out with friends who aren't quite up to date on my adventures in the world of gender identity. It's a rather strong metaphor, but it's almost as if I have two personas, Amy and Dylan. I'm not becoming schizophrenic, but it does feel different interacting with people who know me as Dylan or know that I'm changing my name to Dylan and people who only know me as Amy and don't necessarily even know I like primarily like dykes. I'm a lot less angry and frustrated with the world, which is a relief. I've become more calm, more sure of myself as a person. I've also become less cocky, which I think is good. Either way. I'm getting to a good place with myself.
Right now I'm trying to decide what to do with the rest of my evening. I'm thinking a little reading, letting the dogs out one more time, maybe some more tea and a movie. I also would like to point out that I've been writing the post (albeit while taking a bathroom break, playing a few internet games and chatting with folk online) for the past hour and a half. Ridiculous.
Well. I think that's everything for this blog post. I'll leave you with a Tom Robbins quote from Fierce Invalids Home from Hot Climates.
"The Devil doesn't make us do anything. The Devil, for example, doesn't make us mean. Rather, when we're mean, we make the Devil. Literally. Our actions create him. Conversely, when we behave with compassion, generosity and grace, we create God in the world"
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Juno and other stuff
Today I saw the movie Juno with my friend Mugsie. We originally were trying to go see the annual showing of "It's a Wonderful Life" at The Times but unfortunately the people that gave them the rights to play I Am Legend said they couldn't play any other movies while I Am Legend was running. So sad days. We ended up going to Mayfair Mall, where I bought new earrings and got a third hole put in my ear lobes. We wandered around before deciding to see Juno at the AMC theater in the mall.
I haven't enjoyed seeing a movie in theaters that much in a long time. For one thing, within the first 5 minutes of the film I developed a slight crush on the character of Juno, played by Ellen Page. I think it was the rainbow belt and the liter of sunny d. The film basically follows her teen pregnancy in the town of Dancing Elk, Minnesota after she seduces her best friend Paulie Bleeker, played by Michael Cera. She ends up deciding not to abort the baby, and is planning on giving it to this supposedly perfect couple who live in St. Cloud. The movie is full of wonderful one-liners, phones shaped liked hamburgers, and is set in Minnesota so go Midwest. While it has dark moments and does cover the touchy subject of teen pregnancy and teens having sex, it also does a good job of not being too heavy handed about the subject. It also has one of the best soundtracks I've heard in a while, featuring Belle and Sebastian and the Mouldy Peaches.
I also went to the library today to pick up some books. I have been extraordinarily bored in Mequon. I picked up two Tom Robbins novels, Book Lust, Love is a Mix Tape and the Unbearable Lightness of Being. So hurray for the library. I also paid my sister's 25 cent library fine. I am such a wonderful sibling.
When I was driving through Thiensville to the library I noticed that there is a new store open, a record shop. I am planning on stopping by tomorrow after going to the high school where I hope to help out with stage crew again. Last Saturday going in was fun. I saw Randy, and also just enjoyed being backstage again. The crew they have right now is slightly pathetic honestly. Not that we were all mature and intelligent individuals at all times when I was in high school stage crew. The difference seems to be that we were passionate and wanted to do the best job we could possibly do, while the crew that they have now is just kinda there to mess around.
I actually realized that it's entirely possible that I figured out what I love to do in high school and that going to college and getting a degree in sociology and women and gender studies might not have been the best course of action. I mean, I do enjoy sociology and women and gender studies. I have loved being at Luther, and I have become a much more intelligent person by going to college. But I also realized that I was happy doing stage crew, and I excelled at it. So it's a good thing I'm seriously considering going to Full Sail after doing LVC.
Anyways. If you have the money to spare on a movie in the theaters, I really do suggest going to see Juno. At least go rent it when it comes out on DVD. And check out the soundtrack, for it is a collection aural delight.
I haven't enjoyed seeing a movie in theaters that much in a long time. For one thing, within the first 5 minutes of the film I developed a slight crush on the character of Juno, played by Ellen Page. I think it was the rainbow belt and the liter of sunny d. The film basically follows her teen pregnancy in the town of Dancing Elk, Minnesota after she seduces her best friend Paulie Bleeker, played by Michael Cera. She ends up deciding not to abort the baby, and is planning on giving it to this supposedly perfect couple who live in St. Cloud. The movie is full of wonderful one-liners, phones shaped liked hamburgers, and is set in Minnesota so go Midwest. While it has dark moments and does cover the touchy subject of teen pregnancy and teens having sex, it also does a good job of not being too heavy handed about the subject. It also has one of the best soundtracks I've heard in a while, featuring Belle and Sebastian and the Mouldy Peaches.
I also went to the library today to pick up some books. I have been extraordinarily bored in Mequon. I picked up two Tom Robbins novels, Book Lust, Love is a Mix Tape and the Unbearable Lightness of Being. So hurray for the library. I also paid my sister's 25 cent library fine. I am such a wonderful sibling.
When I was driving through Thiensville to the library I noticed that there is a new store open, a record shop. I am planning on stopping by tomorrow after going to the high school where I hope to help out with stage crew again. Last Saturday going in was fun. I saw Randy, and also just enjoyed being backstage again. The crew they have right now is slightly pathetic honestly. Not that we were all mature and intelligent individuals at all times when I was in high school stage crew. The difference seems to be that we were passionate and wanted to do the best job we could possibly do, while the crew that they have now is just kinda there to mess around.
I actually realized that it's entirely possible that I figured out what I love to do in high school and that going to college and getting a degree in sociology and women and gender studies might not have been the best course of action. I mean, I do enjoy sociology and women and gender studies. I have loved being at Luther, and I have become a much more intelligent person by going to college. But I also realized that I was happy doing stage crew, and I excelled at it. So it's a good thing I'm seriously considering going to Full Sail after doing LVC.
Anyways. If you have the money to spare on a movie in the theaters, I really do suggest going to see Juno. At least go rent it when it comes out on DVD. And check out the soundtrack, for it is a collection aural delight.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
a list of recent discoveries
1. I just discovered Google Reader today and it is a lovely thing. Basically, you subscribe to all of the blogs you read by entering in their urls, and it will tell you when it's updated and you can either read it in reader, or go to the page. I realize that I'm a little slow on the technological update, but I am still very excited about it.
2. Sumner has convinced me, I do believe that the Taylor 810ce is quite possibly one of the most wonderful guitars. When we went to the cities we got to stop in a Guitar Center and played on the acoustics. It was good times. I also am fiercely coveting an acoustic bass guitar. I still need to look around and compare before I know which one exactly. All of this guitar talk is actually quite useless because I am not going to be able to afford another guitar in a long time. But it's fun to dream
3. I am really not looking forward to writing my senior paper. I know, it's nothing like writing a thesis or a dissertation, and as long as I start working on it in January (or even over break) I will be fine. Still doesn't mean that I actually want to research and write the damn thing.
4. I lost my library card to the Mequon-Thiensville library and there is no record of my ever having a card. Which is rather astonishing considering the amount of time I spent at that library when I was younger. It's ok, my sister was with me so I could use her card.
5. Facebook a tetris application. I am going to have to delete it when I go back to school if I am ever going to complete homework next semester.
6. Finally, I need to make myself go interact with people more often and remember that my friends actually do like me and aren't going to suddenly start disliking me if I ask them if they want to hang out. I feel happier when I interact socially, which isn't a novel concept but one that is good to remember. So, if anyone in the Milwaukee area wants to hang out, get coffee, go to the art museum, whatever, let me know.
2. Sumner has convinced me, I do believe that the Taylor 810ce is quite possibly one of the most wonderful guitars. When we went to the cities we got to stop in a Guitar Center and played on the acoustics. It was good times. I also am fiercely coveting an acoustic bass guitar. I still need to look around and compare before I know which one exactly. All of this guitar talk is actually quite useless because I am not going to be able to afford another guitar in a long time. But it's fun to dream
3. I am really not looking forward to writing my senior paper. I know, it's nothing like writing a thesis or a dissertation, and as long as I start working on it in January (or even over break) I will be fine. Still doesn't mean that I actually want to research and write the damn thing.
4. I lost my library card to the Mequon-Thiensville library and there is no record of my ever having a card. Which is rather astonishing considering the amount of time I spent at that library when I was younger. It's ok, my sister was with me so I could use her card.
5. Facebook a tetris application. I am going to have to delete it when I go back to school if I am ever going to complete homework next semester.
6. Finally, I need to make myself go interact with people more often and remember that my friends actually do like me and aren't going to suddenly start disliking me if I ask them if they want to hang out. I feel happier when I interact socially, which isn't a novel concept but one that is good to remember. So, if anyone in the Milwaukee area wants to hang out, get coffee, go to the art museum, whatever, let me know.
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
caf entertainment
I had a hilarious meal with three of my cluster mates, Athena, Seth and Jasmine. Special highlights included discussion about vaginal mucus, removable sphincters, Xena subtext, anal expulsive personalities and an in depth discussion on how Wooblies reproduce.
In case you are wondering, Wooblies reproduce by one Woobly putting done a coating of mucus, then another Woobly putting done another coating. Then a plant grows out of the mucus and blossoms into a baby Woobly.
After that we were walking back to Farwell and decided it might be a good idea to roll chunks of ice and snow down the hill. And it was. There really is nothing quite as entertaining as an after dinner snow rolling competition.
Ok, yes, we were being ridiculous and probably a little immature, but that's ok. I laughed so hard I shot water out my nose.
In case you are wondering, Wooblies reproduce by one Woobly putting done a coating of mucus, then another Woobly putting done another coating. Then a plant grows out of the mucus and blossoms into a baby Woobly.
After that we were walking back to Farwell and decided it might be a good idea to roll chunks of ice and snow down the hill. And it was. There really is nothing quite as entertaining as an after dinner snow rolling competition.
Ok, yes, we were being ridiculous and probably a little immature, but that's ok. I laughed so hard I shot water out my nose.
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Thanksgiving Pineapple
So it's Thanksgiving again. While the origins of the holiday remain questionable, school lets out for a few days, and people are generally a little nicer to each other for a few days.
One of my favorite Thanksgiving memories is from sophmore year of high school. First, you need to know that my dad loves to cook. He will watch the Food Network with pen and paper nearby so he can take notes on his favorite recipes. He's quite easy to shop for, any time I buy him a gift I just go to a culinary store. This particular year my dad thought up one of his craziest cooking schemes yet. He decided that we were going to get a huge turkey because we were having around 30 family members over for Thanksgiving. Personally, I thought it was a little crazy. Either way. My parents get turkeys every year from the Schmidt's who do the whole free range turkey and chicken thing. I think they also raise goats and one cow a year.
Either way. So at the beginning of October my parents find out this turkey is probably going to weigh in at over 40 lbs. This turkey isn't going to fit in our oven. So my dad decides that we are going to cook it luau style. So over the course of October we dig a huge hole in our backyard. This thing is about 4 feet deep and wide. Thanksgiving Day we get up and set a fire in the bottom, put a grate over it, and put the turkey on top of the grate wrapped in foil. Then we put a sheet of metal over the hole. And then we wait for the turkey to cook.
So around 11:30, my friend Monica shows up at the door with a surprise for us. We let her in, exchange pleasantries, she tells us all to close our eyes and pulls out a pineapple and gives it to my dad. I had told her about the whole turkey cooked in a whole in the ground thing and she decided that the perfect thanksgiving present for us would be a pineapple. Every year after that we've gotten a lovely thanksgiving pineapple.
Luckily, the turkey in the ground thing actually worked. Also luckily, my father hasn't ever tried cooking food in the ground ever since.
One of my favorite Thanksgiving memories is from sophmore year of high school. First, you need to know that my dad loves to cook. He will watch the Food Network with pen and paper nearby so he can take notes on his favorite recipes. He's quite easy to shop for, any time I buy him a gift I just go to a culinary store. This particular year my dad thought up one of his craziest cooking schemes yet. He decided that we were going to get a huge turkey because we were having around 30 family members over for Thanksgiving. Personally, I thought it was a little crazy. Either way. My parents get turkeys every year from the Schmidt's who do the whole free range turkey and chicken thing. I think they also raise goats and one cow a year.
Either way. So at the beginning of October my parents find out this turkey is probably going to weigh in at over 40 lbs. This turkey isn't going to fit in our oven. So my dad decides that we are going to cook it luau style. So over the course of October we dig a huge hole in our backyard. This thing is about 4 feet deep and wide. Thanksgiving Day we get up and set a fire in the bottom, put a grate over it, and put the turkey on top of the grate wrapped in foil. Then we put a sheet of metal over the hole. And then we wait for the turkey to cook.
So around 11:30, my friend Monica shows up at the door with a surprise for us. We let her in, exchange pleasantries, she tells us all to close our eyes and pulls out a pineapple and gives it to my dad. I had told her about the whole turkey cooked in a whole in the ground thing and she decided that the perfect thanksgiving present for us would be a pineapple. Every year after that we've gotten a lovely thanksgiving pineapple.
Luckily, the turkey in the ground thing actually worked. Also luckily, my father hasn't ever tried cooking food in the ground ever since.
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