whiney post

I feel like shit today. My back hurts like hell from wearing my binder and my cursed quickly arriving menstruation. (For reference, the -ed in cursed should be emphasized curs-ED. May not be grammatically correct, but so much fun to say). Said binder is also rather difficult to remain cool in during the summer, and also rather difficult to feel physically comfortable. I much prefer fall and spring weather when I can still wear hoodies and long sleeve shirts without frying. I usually feel grossly fat and unattractive in summer because my breasts just feel way more prominent than in the winter when I can hide them under more layers. I'm aware that neither of those statements are true, I'm just saying that's how I feel.

I'm getting nervous about the conference in San Francisco. I wish I could put my finger on what exactly has me freaked out, but so far it's remained pretty difficult to determine. I just feel this vague sense of dread. I'm kinda nervous that the Lutherans Concerned people won't like me, will think I'm a horrible person to pick as their intern, and that all the "youth" in the session I'm co-leading will think I'm weird in a bad way.

I finished a rather horrible book yesterday from the public library called "The Left Hand of Darkness." I just didn't really get into it. The author was trying to (I think) make the point that having a society in which the social differences between men and women will be erased only when men and women share child-care equitably, and trying to point out how incredibly important one's sense of gendered self is in most societies on earth. I just felt it was rather heavy handed and utilized ideas about what gender is and how we are gendered that I just don't really agree with. Oh well.

On a less narcissistic note, came across this story about a pro-life congressional candidate in Oregon whose not-so-pro-life past actions have come to light. *headshake* Funny how that works. On the topic of abortion, I got into an interesting conversation with one of the kids here at summer seminars about abortion. He is Catholic, and follows the Vatican's opinion on abortion. Maybe it's just a warning of things to come with LC/NA, but I found it was extremely difficult to discuss abortion with him without getting upset and shutting off while remaining open and listening to him. I just feel like most debates about abortion or lgbt issues and the church are just circular arguments where both sides end up saying the same things with no real progress. Granted, I'm biased, and for me progress is people against abortion or lgbt rights or women's rights realizing that they should shift, not me recanting my ideas.

Summer is busy

It has been a while. Life has just been really busy it seems.

Here's a Quick List of What's Happened Lately
-I've move into my house for the summer, and started taking care of Rex during the days. -Iowa has been flooded, I evacuated my house. Luckily everything was fine in my house.
-Decorah's First Annual Pride Celebration featuring a concert by the amazing Namoli Brennet
-Sumner visiting for a few days. We got a song written, go us
-Butch vegetarian cooking with Sam Kemp, so far we've made eggplant parmesan and curry
-Met my supervisor for next year and the current Lutherans Concerned LVCer, I'll be going out to San Francisco for the annual Lutherans Concerned conference the week of the fourth of July

And I think that pretty much brings me up to date. I'm currently doing summer seminars for the diversity center. So far we've got around a quarter of the kids here. One frustrating thing is one of the other RAs, who has never done summer seminars before, is really getting on my nerves. Last night at dinner he talked about himself the whole time. When we went to movie gallery, he set down his movie gallery card with showing his ID and left the building. We had to go chase him down. He then proceeded to take half of the kids with him in the vehicle he had driven without waiting for us to count them, and sent kids back in vehicles they didn't arrive in. This might not seem like that big of a deal, but when we drive the kids places, they need to return in the vehicle they arrived in. Then we know who is or isn't missing. Then, when he got back, he took off and just left the kids outside Farwell. The other two vans hadn't even gotten back to Farwell yet. He needs to communicate with the rest of the RAs. So far it just feels like he's just another person the rest of the RAs need to keep track of. I'm trying to be patient though. Anyways. I've vented, I feel a little better about it.

Last night I got to go hang out with Drea for a few hours. It was really good to see her and catch up about life. We ended up just sitting in her sister's backyard talking about the Lutheran church, seminary (she wants to be a pastor), what's new in our lives. It made me feel a little nostalgic for the times when my friends were all in town, and we could hang out all together and see each other more than once a year. On the other hand, I am really happy that we've all stayed in touch as well as we have. I guess it's the perils of having friends that graduate before or after you do.