Wednesday, June 25, 2008

whiney post

I feel like shit today. My back hurts like hell from wearing my binder and my cursed quickly arriving menstruation. (For reference, the -ed in cursed should be emphasized curs-ED. May not be grammatically correct, but so much fun to say). Said binder is also rather difficult to remain cool in during the summer, and also rather difficult to feel physically comfortable. I much prefer fall and spring weather when I can still wear hoodies and long sleeve shirts without frying. I usually feel grossly fat and unattractive in summer because my breasts just feel way more prominent than in the winter when I can hide them under more layers. I'm aware that neither of those statements are true, I'm just saying that's how I feel.

I'm getting nervous about the conference in San Francisco. I wish I could put my finger on what exactly has me freaked out, but so far it's remained pretty difficult to determine. I just feel this vague sense of dread. I'm kinda nervous that the Lutherans Concerned people won't like me, will think I'm a horrible person to pick as their intern, and that all the "youth" in the session I'm co-leading will think I'm weird in a bad way.

I finished a rather horrible book yesterday from the public library called "The Left Hand of Darkness." I just didn't really get into it. The author was trying to (I think) make the point that having a society in which the social differences between men and women will be erased only when men and women share child-care equitably, and trying to point out how incredibly important one's sense of gendered self is in most societies on earth. I just felt it was rather heavy handed and utilized ideas about what gender is and how we are gendered that I just don't really agree with. Oh well.

On a less narcissistic note, came across this story about a pro-life congressional candidate in Oregon whose not-so-pro-life past actions have come to light. *headshake* Funny how that works. On the topic of abortion, I got into an interesting conversation with one of the kids here at summer seminars about abortion. He is Catholic, and follows the Vatican's opinion on abortion. Maybe it's just a warning of things to come with LC/NA, but I found it was extremely difficult to discuss abortion with him without getting upset and shutting off while remaining open and listening to him. I just feel like most debates about abortion or lgbt issues and the church are just circular arguments where both sides end up saying the same things with no real progress. Granted, I'm biased, and for me progress is people against abortion or lgbt rights or women's rights realizing that they should shift, not me recanting my ideas.

4 comments:

Mugsie said...

*hug* I'm sorry! Summer is oppressive. If it helps, I have complete faith in you and your ability to do your LVC job well. And yes, we do have a biased view of progress, but at least you know that!
Did you ever manage to make it through all the religious texts in my Ethics and Sexual Politics reader? If not, there are a few that might relate and be interesting that I can pass your way.

Quaking Aspen said...

You'll be amazing in LVC. I know it.

heart song said...

i think you will be wonderful at lvc, and that you shall be just as weird as you are (but i mean it in the good way)...oh, and while we're at it, not all conversations are circular and frustrating (although, i do agree with you that most seem to be that way)...at my wannabe pastor's conference in atlanta i had a wonderful conversation (not my favorite conversation ever, but definitely my fave one with a homosexuality-is-sin person) with someone who thought homosexuality was a sin...she was genuinely interested in knowing why my friend and i didn't...so: there is yet hope for good conversations, though they be few and far between!!! :)

Dylan said...

Mugsie, I would definitely be interested in any of those readings, I didn't finish more than a few of them.
quaking aspen, thanks =)
heart song, it is really relieving to know that once in a while good conversations can occur.