Covered

I found out a while ago that the insurance policy I get through my job covers transition, which is absolutely stellar. It covers almost everything.. top surgery, hormones, blood tests, therapy. There are a few catches.. before top surgery I'll need to have gone through therapy for a year, there's the whole real-life test thing.. so that'll all be weird. However, I'll be able to stay on this medical insurance plan until I'm done with surgery which is good. Hormones I should then be able to cover out-of-pocket if necessary.

I guess.. it's kinda weird to think that transition is actually almost within reach.. I've gotten so used to feeling like it wasn't actual a real possibility that I almost don't know how to react to the news. I mean, it's good, but part of me doesn't quite grasp it yet. I think this is also partially because I know personally and know of so many trans people who can't afford transition, haven't come out to their families, can't come out to their families. Part of me feels guilty for being lucky enough to have coverage. It feels like another binary, those who've transitioned and those who haven't.

Even so. I am so excited to not bind. I've gotten used to it, the slight twisting, unrolling, tucking, adjusting, compression of putting it on. I've gotten used to the dull ache in my lower back that sneaks up around 3 every day. I've gotten used to rolling it up to my armpits, and tugging the back over my head. I've become much better at using the binder over the years. I couldn't even put my binder on by myself when I first got it. I guess I shouldn't get to excited to see it go yet. I'll still be binding for the next year and half or so.

Wow. I started rambling there. Anyways. Back to work/maybe off to home..