phone tag

After playing phone tag for a few weeks, I'm in the system at the place I got referred to for hormones. She's a really great doctor and all, so I'm glad I'm in the system. However, no free appointments until July when I'm gone on a trip for work. So I'll get bumped back into August. They don't even have an August calendar yet.

So I'll call back next week and get an appointment in August. Then I'll probably call every two weeks to see if someone cancels.

I'm excited to finally have my letter and be in the system for hormones, but I'm just really sad that it's a three month wait. I was expecting a 4-6 week wait, not a 12-13 week wait.

Negatives that keep weighing me down:
- I've waited a long time already
- I am terrified of losing my insurance coverage and thus my ability to pay for hormones
- summer is hard enough as it is

Positives that I'm trying to focus on:
- more time for my family, immediate and extended, to adjust to the idea
- I have my letter, I am in the doctor's system, it will happen
- three months isn't that bad in the long run

Maybe will do a video while I'm cooking dinner tonight. Maybe not. We'll see how I'm feeling.

Derailing for Dummies

I was over on Feministe this morning and came across a link to a wonderful little page called Derailing for Dummies.
Here's an excerpt.

You know how it is. You’re enjoying yourself, kicking back and relaxing at the pub or maybe at the library; or maybe you’re in class or just casually surfing the internet, indulging in a little conversation. The topic of the conversation is about a pertinent contemporary issue, probably something to do with a group of people who fall outside your realm of experience and identity. They’re also probably fairly heavily discriminated against - or so they claim.
The thing is, you’re having a good time, sharing your knowledge about these people and their issues. This knowledge is incontrovertible - it’s been backed up in media representation, books, research and lots and lots of historical events, also your own unassailable sense of being right.

Yet all of a sudden something happens to put a dampener on your sharing of your enviable intellect and incomparable capacity to fully perceive and understand All Things. It’s someone who belongs to the group of people you’re discussing and they’re Not Very Happy with you. Apparently, they claim, you’ve got it all wrong and they’re offended about that. They might be a person of colour, or a queer person. Maybe they’re a woman, or a person with disability. They could even be a trans person or a sex worker. The point is they’re trying to tell you they know better than you about their issues and you know that’s just plain wrong. How could you be wrong?

Don’t worry though! There IS something you can do to nip this potentially awkward and embarrassing situation in the bud. By simply derailing the conversation, dismissing their opinion as false and ridiculing their experience you can be sure that they continue to be marginalised and unheard and you can continue to look like the expert you know you really are, deep down inside!

You know you want to read the whole thing. Go find it here.

therapy news and SFO news

exciting news in the world of dylan.

i had a therapy appointment yesterday, and it went really well. we talked about the MMPI (minnesota multiphasic personality inventory) that i had taken a week and a half ago. i was really ticked after my consultation with the dude that analyzed my test results because i felt extremely pathologized. realized when i was talking to my therapist that actually the guy didn't find anything dramatically wrong, just that when the test comes back pretty level, they need to report something about you. so yeah, basically what came out of that is that i show high levels of stereotypically masculine interests and behaviors, and that i could potentially work on developing an "appropriate level of selfishness."

end result, i need to make an appointment with dr. thorp and let my therapist know and he'll mail me a letter. so.. ideally i'll be starting hormones by the end of the month. i'm really excited, but it also kind of hasn't hit yet. it's been such a long time that it doesn't completely feel real.. that and i'm paranoid that something will happen with insurance and i'll be fucked and have a ton of medical bills to deal with. i'm nervous about having to switch insurance policies, that whatever i end up getting on will call it a pre-existing condition. but.. things to worry about later.

in other news, last week i was in ohio visiting sumner. we recorded pretty much straight through the week, finishing strong with an all-nighter saturday night, and we emerged with a really nice 5-track EP. we still have a few little changes we want to make after listening to the music once we slept, but once we are done tweaking, i'll put up further information. we're thinking about having a small cd release party in the twin cities in june-ish.